高分！修改一篇100字的英语小短文

高分！修改一篇100字的英语小短文

整篇帮你修改润色了！给我分吧！ 英语专业的，相信我啦
这是对朋友们说的，应该更生活化，first ,seconed..等连接词太生硬了像写议论文。
My dear friends:
I'm going to school, so I will seldom surf on the Internet.
I want to tell you that, I'm very happy to know everyone, and I have fun in chatting.
In the following term, I just have half a day of freedom on every study-week, and I won't have more time on QQ.
Most importantly, I really hope to improve my study get better than ever before. In addiction, I’d like to cheer up everyone who I know~
Although, I think I will on QQ sometimes because of study，please don't call me by QQ, otherwise you will disturb me.
At last ~Please remember there was a girl let you had a good time ever, and stayed with you during the boring time.
What's more, let us keep in touch,OK? See u~

Yours. O_O芭芘girl

初一那个孩子英语不错！

I spent most of my time on studying.So I seldom surf the Internet.
I'm happy to know everyone,and I find it fun to chat with new people.
I only have half a day to be free the entire week, so I don't have much time on QQ.
I really hope to improve my study, get better grades than before,and make everyone happy. I will be on QQ sometimes. So please don't call me to disturb. Please remember there was a girl that gave you a good time when you're down. Let us stay intouch,OK?see Ya!

First of all,I want to say,As my new school term will start, I may spend less time on surfing the Internet.
Even thought I just have a half of day free on each study-week,and I won't have much time on QQ,I'm still glad to meet more men,and quite interested in chatting with others. Most importantly, I really hope to improve my study get better than ever before.In the meanwhile I’d like to cheer up everyone who I know.
Please remember me a girl who let you had a good time ever, and accompany you during the boring time.
So,let us keep in touch,OK? See u~
Best wishes
Yours truly. O_O芭芘girl

你的这篇原文的意思好像有些矛盾哟 ，一方面又说不愿闲聊，一方面又说“fun in chatting”
既然不愿上Q，更拒绝“disturb”，别人又怎么跟你”keep in touch“呢？
“君子之交淡淡如水”？还是只愿关键时刻，鼎力相助，而不愿平时闲谈扯淡呢？一方面你的意思好像表达的不够明确，另一方面，我个人认为，这样的友谊是很难维持的，不通过平日里的闲谈交流，加深理解，又如何能让别人了解你，信任你，并在重要的时刻想到你 找你帮忙呢？一孔之见，你说呢？

楼主的意思是想表达想告诉朋友们自己要开学了所以会少上网吧。
这样的文章不用first second之类的。
我这样改你看看可不可以
dear my friends,new semester is coming,so i can't have many time to surf the internet,i'm glad to meet you gays during the holiday,and i find a lot of fun in chatting with you,although i have a half day holidays every week.that means i cant always online,even i will be qq online sometimes,but dont disturb me unless you relly have something very inportant to tell me,
please remenber i will always bring you joy .keep in touch with me!ok? see u

I'm happy to know everyone,and I find fun in chatting.
But I'm going to study,so I just have half of a day freedom every week,I really hope to improve my study,and I want to get better than before.
So,I'll seldom surf the Internet,and I won't have much time on QQ.
But I think I will on QQ when I have some free time,please don't call me to disturb.
Please remember there was a girl who hope you to have a good time,with you to during the boring time.Cheer up,everyone who I know.
Let us keep in touch,OK? I'll waiting for you when I am free.
让大家见笑了，我才初一，以上文章仅供参考，你要不要都无所谓的。我只当是一篇小练笔了。