帮我打一封英文的求爱信

帮我打一封英文的求爱信 幽默点 本人正在学英文 但还是写不好一封有品味的信 写的好的追加分数 3Q

幽默点？你是男的？
dearest girl:
I'm freaking happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since the 11th of January 2010. With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17 th of 2010 at 1500 hours. our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the relationship.......
第二封
1. Dear (Name of receipent)

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.