翻译一篇英语文章 During the past fifteen years a great d

翻译一篇英语文章

During the past fifteen years a great deal of attention has been given to "letting it all hang out. " My impression is that this over-zealous devotion to speaking one' s mind has more often led to hurt feelings and ruined relationships than to great joy and fulfillment.
I think we generally agree that holding in real feelings and never expressing less-than-lovely thoughts about each other hardly lead to constructive communication. It' s a great relief to allow ourselves the luxury of admitting our human weaknesses and pursuing more honest relationships with others. But we need to strike a balance between telling it all and telling nothing.
Recently I received a letter from a mother who had been persuaded by her troubled twenty-five-year-old son to attend a weekend "truth" marathon with him. Under pressure from the group, her defenses collapsed and she heard herself telling her son for the first time that he had been an accident that she hadn' t been planning to have a child. He in turn told her that he couldn' t recall a single day in his childhood that he'd been happy.
"At that time," this woman wrote, "it seemed helpful. We cried and we made up; 1 thought telling the truth had been good for us. But the trouble is, it wash't the whole truth. By the time Tommy was born, I did want him, and at times he was happy. Ever since that day, we' ve both been disturbed by some terrible feelings we shared. "
I must admit we' ve come to the conclusion that some things are

在过去的十或十五年，我太专注于“告诉它像这样”或“把这一切扬出来”。 我的印象就是，过分有话就说、口直心快，往往会伤了的感情和搞砸了关系，多于收获喜乐和满足。
我以为我们普遍都认同，不全把真正的感受和盘托出，和即使对方稍有不是，都该把这些想法抑压著，才能导致有建设性的沟通。 但人非圣人，承认自己难免有些人性的弱点，寻求与他人坦诚相对，都是一种自我释放。 但是，我们必须在说与不说之间取得平衡。
最近我收到一位母亲的来信，她那顽劣的25岁儿子说服了她在周末一起去参加马拉松跑步。在群体的压力下，她的防线崩溃了，她第一次冲口而出地对儿子说，他只是一宗意外——她从没有打算要孩子。 而他又“回敬”她说，打从小时候就没有过过快乐幸福的一天。
「当时」，这个女人写道，「似乎很凑效」。 我们都哭了，我们和好了； 我一直还以为说实话对我们都有好处。 但麻烦的是，这不是全部的真相。 当汤米出生的时候，我是想要他的，而有时他也很快乐。 但从那天大家都口没遮拦之后，我们俩一直都被这种不安的感觉缠绕着。」
我必须承认，有些话还是不该说出来。诚信是好，但我们必须肯定那是事实的全部——但大多数时候，我们不得而知。 鼓励小孩去表达自己的真实感受没错，而能把痛到心坎里去的误解剖开，与配偶对质，也挽救许多面临破裂的婚姻。 但是，我们要找到新的平衡感。 剖白也不是每一次都灵光的，甚至也不能以此为终结。 剖白可解决某些情况，但在其他情况下，它可能会带来可怕的伤害和危害。
我想，在脱口而出之前，把话憋在心里10到15分钟，也许是个不错的主意。 仔细想想，到底这些话是有助于打开沟通的渠道，还是会留下永远无法愈合的伤口。

～~~~~~~~~纯人手翻译，欢迎采纳~~~~~~~~~

原文不全，全文如下：
During the past fifteen years a great deal of attention has been given to "letting it all hang out. " My impression is that this over-zealous devotion to speaking one' s mind has more often led to hurt feelings and ruined relationships than to great joy and fulfillment.
I think we generally agree that holding in real feelings and never expressing less-than-lovely thoughts about each other hardly lead to constructive communication. It' s a great relief to allow ourselves the luxury of admitting our human weaknesses and pursuing more honest relationships with others. But we need to strike a balance between telling it all and telling nothing.
Recently I received a letter from a mother who had been persuaded by her troubled twenty-five-year-old son to attend a weekend "truth" marathon with him. Under pressure from the group, her defenses collapsed and she heard herself telling her son for the first time that he had been an accident that she hadn' t been planning to have a child. He in turn told her that he couldn' t recall a single day in his childhood that he'd been happy.
"At that time," this woman wrote, "it seemed helpful. We cried and we made up; 1 thought telling the truth had been good for us. But the trouble is, it wash't the whole truth. By the time Tommy was born, I did want him, and at times he was happy. Ever since that day, we' ve both been disturbed by some terrible feelings we shared. "
I must admit we’ve come to the conclusion that some things are better left unsaid. Honesty is a fine policy as long as we know what the truth really is – but most of the time we don’t. It’s a fine goal to encourage children to express their real feelings. And many marriages have been saved by an open confrontation of deep and painful misunderstandings. But we need a new sense of balance. Disclosure is not a panacea for every problem nor even an end in itself. It’s useful and freeing under some circumstances and terribly hurtful and damaging under others.
It’s a good idea, I think, to bite your tongue for ten or fifteen minutes before saying what’s on your mind. Try to decide whether it’s going to open up new and better avenues of communication or leave wounds that may never heal.

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