英语作文修改（四级标准）

Interests

There is no doublt that everyone has his own interests.Mybe your interests are different from your special field of study or work.But the interests will make us happy.
In our life,it is the true interest that makes us forget time and ourself and steep it completely. By interests,we can open up our angle of view to feel the world.That is say to develop your interests will help you make way in the world.And if you cultivate your various interests properly,you will probaly find it easier to find a job or profession.
But on the other hand ,everything has two side.Too much emphasis placed on interests may let us decadent.
In my opinion,only do it on appropriate time,can we get real fun and develope our ability.

文章不错， 但是词句稍显单薄， 下文给你稍稍强化一下

There is no denying that everyone has interests that enrich our life with happiness. Maybe everyone possesses different interests from other people depending on individual preferences such as special field of study or work. However, interests are an neccessarities tie up to an individual's satifaction.
In our life, our interests have been playing a very important role that fill up our leisure time and allow us to sleep soundly. With interests, we are eager to explore the areas that fascinate us and interests are the key to open our mind and feel the world, which connotates that developing interests will benefit us from seeking the new path in this mysterious world. In light of this statement, if you develop a positive interest, the interest will drive you to the success.
On the opposite side, just like a two-side blade. Some interests should be eliminated becasue it has the potential to ruin our life. Such as playing computer games, hanging out with bad guys and eating with irregularity.
From my perspective, we are likely to benefit from the interest we have developed. While, we also should pay attention to refrain the growth of bad interests.

高中生写的文章居然被引用到四六级，不害臊，我给上面文章的评价是，第一个分论点与观点矛盾，词汇量小，句式变化不多。下面是一篇谈旅游业发展与传统文化冲突的文章，自己比较下吧。 theboomingtouristtradehasbroughtaboutmassexchangeofpopulationbetweendifferentnations.atfirstglance,thisbridgestheunderstandingandcommunicationbetweendifferentcultures.inmyopinion,however,thisfast-growingindustryhasproducedtensionbetweenpeoplefromdifferentculturalbackground. thefirstbarrierforcurioustouristsfromallovertheworldistheproblemoflanguage.themostattractivedestinationsoftourismare,ironically,lessdevelopedareaswheretheworldlanguage---english,hasnotbeenprevalent.therefore,thedirectcontactbetweentouristsandlocalresidentshasbeencutdown.thetourguide,normallyinterpretertoo,becomestheonlylinkofcommunication.butunfortunately,asindicatedinanyguide-traininghandbook,theresponsibilityofatourguideistoarousethetourists’interestandpassionratherthanpresentalectureonculturaldifference.thus,tourists,beyondtheirexpectations,cannotfullyunderstandthecultureswhichappearstobeexotic. anotherobstacleisfromthelocalgovernment.asiarguebefore,inmostofcase,the‘local’referstothelessdevelopedregions.inordertoattractforeigninvestmentandmaintainthelocaltourismindustry,theofficials,deliberatelyornot,onlyhopetoshowoutsidersthepositivesideofthearea,hence,thepartoflocalliving.asaresult,conductedtoursarecarefullycensored.thetourists,or‘prisoners’tosomeextent,areallowedtoseeonlywhattheorganizerswantthemtoseeandnomore.awindow-shopschedulegivesnoopportunitytowanderoffonone’sown.inthisway,evenforaknowledgeabletravelerwithpracticalexperiencecanonly‘see’thesuperficialofthelocalculture.ifso,aninstantmisunderstandingwillbefalselyshaped. allthingsconsidered,theinternationaltourismcontributesabsolutelynothingtoincreasingunderstanding.instead,initswayasitistoday,ahideousprejudiceandmisinterpretationwillbeestablished. 利与弊： ……(用一个从句引出的话题)graduallybecomesapressing/hot-button/controversial/heatedissue/opinion.inmypointofview,trerearesomeadvantages/strenthens/meritsanddisadvantages/weakens/shortcommings.inthisessay,iwanttocomparetheminseveralaspectsandsuggestsomeactionstotaketosolveitsbadparts. 接下来讲这个问题的几点缺点。（两三个即可） 然后再讲解决方法，要注意有针对性。 最后再结尾，提出一些设想和对未来的展望就可以了。 其实什么模板套句都是没有什么用的，关键是怎么样让作文更有表现力，这是要长期训练的结果。 我可以举个很简单的例子： 非洲国家有很多人正在遭受饥饿、痛苦和贫穷。 高中生可以这样写： manypeopleinafricancoutriesareverypoor,painandhungry.（词汇贫乏句式简单，pain用词不恰当） 一般的大学生可以这样写： africansaresufferingfromstavation,miseryandpoorlife.（虽然有一定的词汇，但是没有表现力，很乏味，相信改卷老师看了太多这样的句子了，已经是睡眼惺忪了。） 英语专业的学生就不一样拉，他们寻求表现力： stavation,miseryandpoverty(贫穷)areembracingtensofthousandsofresidents(居民)livinginafricancoutries.（不简单，不用人做主语，形象生动，句式有些复杂，用现在分词做定语，词汇量大，表现力强。） 所以写作的时候要绞尽脑汁（rackyourbrain）来想出一些办法增强表现力，但是这是一个长期的过程，不可能一蹴而就的！

一、be different from 改为be different for（我觉得你想表达的是“因为工作学习的领域不同而不同”而be different from是和什么不同），二、has two side改为two sides，三、on appropriate time改为at appropriate time（“在合适的时间”介词应为at）至于格式考试要求的！还有几处不太确定，就没提出来！以上答案仅代表个人意见，希望对你有帮助！