英语幽默故事（中文翻译）

最少2个

Whose Son Is the Greatest
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."
The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.
" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

谁的儿子最伟大

四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士，”第一位母亲自豪地说道，“他进入房间，人们都说，‘您好，阁下’。”

第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间，人们都称，‘您好，大人’。”

“我的儿子是位红衣主教，”第三位母亲接着说，“他走进房间，人们都说，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十，体重三百磅，”她说，“他要是走入房间，人们都说‘哦，我的上帝’！”

Quick Service
A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."

"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.

"When will they be ready?" the man asked.

"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.

That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.

The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.

Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.

He remembered his shoes.

"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.扰He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.

"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"

"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.

"Smith," the man said.

"I'll go and see. They may be out back.

The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.

"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."

快速服务

一个人把一双鞋子拿到一家鞋店，并对修鞋匠说，“请帮我修这双鞋子。”

“当然可以，先生，”鞋匠说。

“什么时候能修好？”那个人问。

“我有点忙，但到星期四我会修好鞋子的。”他说。

“很好，”那人说，并离开了那家店。

第二天早上，他收到一封信，提供他一份在国外的工作。24小时内，他登上飞机去接受那份新工作。

二十年过去了，他回到了故乡。

他记起了那双鞋。

“那是一双好鞋，”他想，“我想知道鞋匠是否还在那儿，是否还有那双鞋。我要去看看。”

他很高兴看到鞋匠还在那家店里，虽然他已很老了。

“早上好，”他对鞋匠说，“二十年前，我拿了一双鞋子来修。你记得还有那双鞋吗？”

“名字？”老鞋匠问。

“史密斯，”那人回答。

“我去瞧瞧，或许在后面呢。”

鞋匠回到店的后面去，几分钟后又回来了，手里提着那双鞋子，“在这呢，”他说，“一双棕色的鞋子要修。我有点忙，但可以到星期四把鞋子修好。”

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。 Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world? 老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？ Peter: Well, well....eyelids.... 彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮…… Teacher: What？Eyelids？ 老师：什么？眼皮？ Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world. 彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了 Quick Service A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please." "Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said. "When will they be ready?" the man asked. "I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said. That's fine," the man said, and left the shop. The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job. Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown. He remembered his shoes. "They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.扰He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now. "Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?" "Name?" the old shoemaker asked. "Smith," the man said. "I'll go and see. They may be out back. The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes. "Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday." 快速服务 一个人把一双鞋子拿到一家鞋店，并对修鞋匠说，“请帮我修这双鞋子。” “当然可以，先生，”鞋匠说。 “什么时候能修好？”那个人问。 “我有点忙，但到星期四我会修好鞋子的。”他说。 “很好，”那人说，并离开了那家店。 第二天早上，他收到一封信，提供他一份在国外的工作。24小时内，他登上飞机去接受那份新工作。 二十年过去了，他回到了故乡。 他记起了那双鞋。 “那是一双好鞋，”他想，“我想知道鞋匠是否还在那儿，是否还有那双鞋。我要去看看。” 他很高兴看到鞋匠还在那家店里，虽然他已很老了。 “早上好，”他对鞋匠说，“二十年前，我拿了一双鞋子来修。你记得还有那双鞋吗？” “名字？”老鞋匠问。 “史密斯，”那人回答。 “我去瞧瞧，或许在后面呢。” 鞋匠回到店的后面去，几分钟后又回来了，手里提着那双鞋子，“在这呢，”他说，“一双棕色的鞋子要修。我有点忙，但可以到星期四把鞋子修好。”