英文小笑话(中英对照)快快快

英文小笑话(中英对照)快快快

my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

（1）
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
一位女士打开冰箱门，发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上，就问它：“你在那里做什么？”

The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
兔子回答：“这是Westinghouse对不对？”（Westinghouse，西屋电气公司）

The lady confirmed, "Yes."
女士确认道：“没错。”

"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."
兔子说：“那就对了，我就是要往西边去。”

（2）
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
兔子：你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的病？

Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
医生：当然咯，凡是喝过的兔子没有一只来要第二瓶的。

（3）
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?
兔宝宝：妈咪，我是从哪儿来的呢？

Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.
兔妈妈：等你长大点再告诉你。
Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.
兔宝宝：噢妈咪，现在就告诉我吧，求您了。

Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
兔妈妈：如果你一定要知道，那我告诉你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽出来的。
32
| 评论
2011-2-14 20:29
海贼王r | 三级
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

A:I'm sorry! B:I'm sorry,too. A:I'm sorry three. B:What are you sorry for? A:I'm sorry five. A“我5261很抱歉”B“我也很抱歉”（但是第一4102个人把too听成了two）A“我抱歉第三次”B“你为什么1653抱歉啊？版”（第一个人听成了four）A“我抱歉第五次权”

who's the writer my wife, diana, is a rela-estate agent and i am a writer.she had gotten the listing for a house three doors down from ours and was describing the neighborhood enthusiastically① to a client on the telephone."we have an orthopedic② surgeon,"she said,"a dentist and a stockbroker.and threr's an artist whose wife does television commercials."" don't forget the writer,"i interjected.she put her hand over the mouthpiece and looked at me quizzically."who's the writer?"she whispered. 译文： 谁是作家？ 我妻子戴安娜是一位房地产开代理人，而我是作家。她有份从我们家住下数隔三个门的一套房子的单子，此刻她正在电话里热情地向一位客户描述这套房子的四周环境。“我们有一位整形外科医生，”她说，“一位牙医和一位股票经纪人。还有一位艺术家，他妻子是搞广告的。”“别忘了作家，”我突然插了一句。妻子用手捂住话筒，探询地望着我。“谁是作家？”她小声地问。