写了一篇英文日志要发表在qq空间里,谁英语好帮忙检查一下有没有语法错误

My dear friends,I have kept some words in my heart for a long time .And now,I want to tell it to you.No matter where you are,I hope you could listen to me:
Frist,I will say thanks to you.Thank you for all the things you had done for me.Thank you for inspiring me when I felt down;Thank you for the drinks you bought for me when I was thirsty;Thank you for helping me go back home when I was badly hurt;Thank you for helping me made a move when the others had gone……You had helped me so much ,I am proud of having such a good friend like you.
Do you still remember the things happened between us?I would never forget the time we spent together:We had had meals together,seen films together,done exercises together and played together.Even though many of you have been far away from my life,we have our own things to deal with.I think our hearts to be connected with each other by our friendship.What I can do isto wish you live happily and have a bright mood everyday.
We must do our best to make our dreams come true.So come on,I believe you can.I know:If you are,I won’t feel lonely forever.And whatever happens,I will be on your side.

Frist=〉First
You had helped me so much ,I am proud of having such a good friend like you.=>两个句子之间需要连词
Do you still remember the things happened between us?=〉改为Do you still remember what happened between us?略好
I would never forget the time we spent together:We had had meals together,seen films together,done exercises together and played together.=>and前边加逗号
I think our hearts to be connected with each other by our friendship.=〉to be改为are
What I can do is to wish you live happily and have a bright mood everyday.=>everyday改为every day
We must do our best to make our dreams come true.So come on,I believe you can.=>So一般不用句首
And whatever happens,I will be on your side.=>去掉and

语法错误倒不是很多，就是衔接不太流畅，还有有些地方中式英语的味道太重了。。 修改了一下，愿意基本不变： okay,iwilltellyousthaboutjobsinmydream.wheniwasalittlegirl,idreamedsomuchtobeaveryfamoustranslator.ilovedthisjobbecauseithoughtitaveryimportantoneandahighgoalformetostrivefor.thoughlateriknowitisverydifficult,istillsticktothedreaminmychildhoodandalsostronglybelievethatnothingisimpossibletoawillingmind.throughgreateffortsandperseverance,i'msurethat,someday,mydreamwillcometrue.

My dear friends,I have kept some words in my heart for a long time .①And now,I want to tell them to you.No matter where you are,I hope you could listen to me: ②First,I will say thanks to you.③Thank you for all you had done for me.Thank you for inspiring me when I felt down;Thank you for the drinks you bought for me when I was thirsty;Thank you for helping me go back home when I was badly hurt;④Thank you for helping me make a move when others had gone……⑤You have helped me so much that I am proud of having such a good friend like you. Do you still remember the things happened between us?I would never forget the time we spent together⑥:We had meals together,watched films together,did exercises together and played together.⑦Even though many of you have been far away from my life and we have our own things to deal with,I think our hearts are connected with each other by our friendship.⑧What I can do is to wish you to live happily and have a bright mood every day. We must do our best to make our dreams come true.So come on,I believe you can.I know:If you are,I won’t feel lonely forever.And whatever happens,⑨I will be by your side. 有标号的句子是我改过的。 ：）