求英语小笑话5篇,和英语谜语3篇

求英语小笑话5篇,和英语谜语3篇

先来谜语吧
1.What animal wears big black glasses on its face?
什么动物脸上戴个大墨镜? （Panda 熊猫）
2.I'm almost white, but the fur of my ears, eye pits are black. I live in the wild forests,I like eating bamboos! Who am I ?
我几乎是白的,但耳朵、眼窝是黑的.我生活在森林里,喜欢吃竹子.我是谁? （Panda 熊猫）
3.a cat,eyes like a cat,a tail like a cat ,but isn't a cat?
眼睛尾巴像只猫,但又不是猫?
（Tiger 老虎）
4：What letter is a body of water?
谜底是：C(sea)
即字母C,谐音就是“sea”大海,有很多水.
5、It is black ,but you say it is clean.
It is white ,but you say it is dirty.
What is it?
blackboard黑板
他是黑的,但是你说它干净.他是白的,你说它脏.这是什么
6、You go to the park ,and people ask you to show me to them.
What am I?
ticket票
你去公园的时候,被人会让你出示我给他们看.我是什么
7.You can't see me.I can't see you.
When you call,I answer.
When I speak,you listen.
What is it?
phone 电话
你看不见我,我看不见你.当你来电,我回答,当你说话,我听.这是什么
8、Maybe it's in the tree;Maybe it's on the ground.
It can fly,itcan sing.
What is it?
bird鸟
也许他在树里,也许在地上.它会飞,也会唱.他是什么
9、I have forest but no treees ;moutains;no rocks;cities without houses;rivers without water.
What am I?
map地图
我有森林,但是没有树木.有高山,但是没有岩石.有城市,没有房屋,有河流但是没有谁.我是什么
下面笑话
1.
A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?” The lawyer said, “$400 dollars!”
And the man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?”
The lawyer said, “I guess so. What’s your third question?”
有个人打电话给律师,问道：「你回答三个问题的收费是多少钱?」律师回答说：「四百美元.」
这个人说：「这要不少钱,不是吗?」
律师回答说：「我想是吧!你的第三个问题是什么?」
2.
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it.
One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, Someone just picked my pocket!
Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, How could anyone stoop so low?
我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴,和蔼而又快乐的人.但在他面前有一件事不能提－－他的身高.或者,我应该说,他是有点矮!
一天,经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入,高声说,“有人拿了我的钱包!”
我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声,但有人却蹦出一句话：“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊
3.
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office.
Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom,he's dead.
Mary replied, He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry.
Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人.一天,他们沿着医院的游泳池散步,Jim突然跳入泳池的深水区,他沉到了底部.Mary立刻跳下去救他,她潜到水底,把Jim拉了上来.
当院长听闻了Mary的英勇行为后,他立刻翻看了她的病历档案,把她叫进了自己的办公室.
“Mary,我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你.好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人,这说明你的意识已经恢复了,你可以出院了.坏消息就是,Jim,你救的那个病人,他还是用自己的浴袍带子在浴室上吊自杀了.”
Mary说：“他没有自杀,是我把他吊起来好让他晾干.”
4.
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
牙医：请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢.
病人：我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!
5.
There was a lady who took a taxi home, and when the taxi driver approached her house she told him to stop, saying, Okay, here, here is good.
Then she asked the driver, How much is it? And the driver replied, Ten dollars.
Then, after searching in her purse for a while, she said, Could you please go back 500 meters? I have only seven dollars on me!
有一位女士搭计程车回家,当抵达家门口时,她告诉司机：「好,就停在这里.」然后她问：「多少钱?」司机回答：「十块钱.」她翻了翻皮包之后说：「可不可以请你把车子再倒回去五百公尺,因为我只有七块钱!」
6.
Help! Doctor! Please come quickly!
My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!
Ok , I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.
Good,but.what am I supposed to do in the meantime?
Just use another pen!
“救命!医生!你赶快来!
我那个十岁的小孩刚刚吞下去一支笔!”
“喔!我马上过去,大概十分钟或二十分钟就会到了!”
“是,不过在.在这个中间我该怎么办呢?”
“用其他的笔嘛!”