谁有一条一百多词的英语笑话

谁有一条一百多词的英语笑话

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似

18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”

英语笑话The mean man's party.
 The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
 "Why use my elbow and foot?"
 "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

英语笑话（一）
    He is really somebody
 -- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
 -- He is really somebody. What does he do?
 -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
  他真是一个大人物
 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
 -- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（二）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
 At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
 它们是从美国直接带来的
 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（三）

my little dog can't read
 Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
 Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
 Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
 我的狗不识字
 布朗夫人：哦，
 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（四）Bring me the winner
 -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
 -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
 -- Well, bring me the winner then.
 给我那个打赢的吧
 -- 服务员，
 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（五）The mean man's party.
 The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
 "Why use my elbow and foot?"
 "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
 吝啬鬼请客
 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
 “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
 “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

老妈：这个“I don’t know.”是什么意思？ 我说：“我不知道” 老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！ 我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！ 老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&.......(一顿爆揍) 老妈：你再给我说说这个，“I know.”什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。 我说：是“我知道” 老妈：知道就快说。 我说：就是“我知道” 老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？ 我说：就是我知道呀！ 老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍) 老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我再收拾你，你给我翻译一下“I know but I don’t want to tell you.”是什么意思？ 我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧。 这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,I’m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me”是什么意思啊~? 我说:“我很烦,别烦我” 老妈:“找打,跟**这么说话”(于是被扁) 老妈又问：“I hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊？ 我说:“我没听清,再说一次” 老妈又说了一遍:I hear nothing,repeat“ 我说：“我没听清,再说一次” 结果被扁 老妈再问:“what do you say ”又怎么解释呢？ 我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁) 老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary”是何意啊？ 我说:“查字典” “查字典我还问你做甚”(被扁) 老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢？ 我说:“你最好问别人” “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打，我再问你:“use you head,then think it over”,又是什么意思啊! 我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想” “臭小子,还敢耍我”接着又要动手。 我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思” “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”转吧！让大家开心一下啦