谁有经典搞笑的段子、笑话?

谁有经典搞笑的段子、笑话?

请采纳我问题 1、前晚男朋友订婚戒指竟没同注意令忿忿平午家坐着谈候突站起声说:哎呀真热呀我看我戒指脱吧 2、主佣叫面前问:否怀孕 啊佣道 亏说口没结婚难道觉害羞主再训 我要害羞主自怀孕 我怀我丈夫主气反驳 我啊佣高兴附 3、骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服口面扣挡风酒驾驶 翻栽路旁警察赶: 警察甲:严重车祸 警察乙:啊脑袋都撞面 警察甲:嗯呼吸我帮转吧 警察乙:.....、二使劲转 警察甲:嗯没呼吸....... 4、条七拐八拐乡村公路发车祸所些鬼故事发晚租车司机看见路边发披肩身着白衣向招手司机没见鬼所胆停让车路,司机虽信鬼毛毛所视镜看面着着突司机发现见司机吓跳赶紧踩刹车见满脸血表情狰狞司机吓牙直打颤突口:车啊我低系鞋带突刹车我鼻都撞破…… 5、病看病医检查皱着眉说:您病太严重恐怕久 病:求您告诉我我能久 医:十…… 病着急问:十十十月十 医:十九八七六五…… 6、师:能说些18世纪科家共同特点 :能都死 7、犀粪蜣蚊谈恋蜣问蚊做工作蚊说:护士打针蜣拍腿:缘呐我药局搓药丸… 8、非洲住某宾馆夜半起火明原非洲见状顾许光着身跑消防员见状惊呼:我妈呀都烧糊吧区能跑快 9、想考察必须总批准于向总请示总给张字条面写着:Go ahead 想:Go ahead=前进总批准于始打点行李 同事见问:做啊说:我准备考察总批准给我写‘Go ahead’ 同事见条乐:咱总根本没批准咱总英语水平知道说 10、牧师买马马车农夫说:匹马能听懂教语言叫"谢帝"跑;叫"赞美帝"才停农夫信疑试着喊声谢帝匹马立刻飞奔起越跑越快跑悬崖边惊恐农夫才想起让停口令赞美帝马停死逃农夫口气:谢帝………我打久请采纳1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"I played for a long time, please