有一篇英语口试的自我介绍的讲稿,

有一篇英语口试的自我介绍的讲稿,
Good afternoon ,dear teachers.I am very glad to be here for your interview.My name is **.I come from Class Two of Communication Engineering.
Well,it’s a challenge for me to take this interview ,but the most important thing is that it is my dream.Since I believe in “ Where there is a will ,there is a way”,I exerted a lot to improve myself in all aspects ,especially in enhancing the ability of studying my specialization.
I am a hard study student ,especially in the things which I take an interest in .With the help of my teachers,I managed to spend a lot of time reading publications regarding the communication fields .I am interested in cryptology,especially in RSA algorithm.The algorithm was proposed by three famous professors.The fact reminded me of the importance of co-operation .Nowadays,the achievements of science in expanding numbers are accomplished by the team work of experts in various fields.
.Furthermore,I am a person with great ambition.When I was a little boy,I had a dream of becoming a scientist.I want to realist my dream and make myself to be a well-qualified person.I love my major ,I am long for doing research in this field.So I think further study is urgent for me to realize my dream.It is necessary to seize any chance for self-development,especially in this competitive modern world.I think the postgraduate study can enrich my knowledge.
I am a open-minded boy and have broad interests,like swimming,reading,fencing and travelling .Fencing make my temperament nobler ,my mind quicker.In spare time ,I often listen to symphony .The musican I like most is Beethoven.Beethoven's Ninth Symphony is a glorious piece of music.It always gives me the enormous power of studying.What’s more ,I admire Marx ,Madame Curie and Einstein .I want to make contributions for human like them.
In the past 3 years,I have passed CET 4 and CET 6 with a ease.In addition to this,I gained the first scholarship twice.
Shanghai University is one of the most famous university of our country,it provide student with enough room to get further enrichment.There are lots of excellent supervisors and lots of advanced,well-equipped labs in the university.Being deeply attracted by the academic atmosphere of Shanghai University ,I am looking forward to getting further education here.
That is all.Thank you for giving me the chance.
请修改出语法错误，有哪些语句不合适，可进行修改

这里是修改文,希望能够帮助你!
Good afternoon ,dear teachers.I am very glad to be here for your interview.My name is **.I'm from Class Two of Communication Engineering.
Well,it's a challenge for me to take this interview ,but the most important thing is that it is my dream.Since I believe in “ Where there is a will ,there is a way”,I showed a lot of improvement of myself in all aspects ,especially in enhancing the ability of studying my specialization.
I study very hard whether in school or at home,especially of the things which I take an interest in .With the help of my teachers,I managed to spend a lot of time reading publications regarding the communication fields .I am interested in cryptology,especially in RSA algorithm.The algorithm was proposed by three famous professors.The fact reminded me of the importance of co-operation .Nowadays,the achievements of science in expanding numbers are accomplished by the team work of experts in various fields.
.Furthermore,I am a person with great ambition.When I was a young,I had a dream of becoming a scientist.I want to realist my dream and make myself to be a well-qualified person.I love my major ,I am long for doing research in this field.So I think further study is urgent for me to realize my dream.It is necessary to seize any chance for self-development,especially in this competitive modern world.I think the postgraduate study can enrich my knowledge.
I am a open-minded boy and have broad interests,like swimming,reading,fencing and travelling .Fencing make my temperament nobler ,my mind quicker.In spare time ,I often listen to symphony .The musican I like most is Beethoven.Beethoven's Ninth Symphony is a glorious piece of music.It always gives me the enormous power of studying.What’s more ,I admire Marx ,Madame Curie and Einstein .I want to make contributions for human just like what they did.
In the past 3 years,I have passed CET 4 and CET 6 with a ease.In addition to this,I gained the first scholarship twice.
Shanghai University is one of the most famous university in our country,it provide student with enough room to get further enrichment.There are lots of excellent supervisors and lots of advanced,well-equipped labs in the university.Being deeply attracted by the academic atmosphere of Shanghai University ,I am looking forward to getting further education here.
That's it.Thank you for giving me this opportunity .
你的英语能力很强啊!
只是部分语法需改进,我帮你修改了一些细节^^
祝你好运^^