呵呵,现写的应付考试.帮忙改一改哈

呵呵,现写的应付考试.帮忙改一改哈
The person that i admire
If you ask me who is the best person in the
world,I can`t answer you.But,if you ask me who is the best person that I
admire in my heart.I can answer you in a loudly voice.It is wanghao-a table
tennis athlete.
Wang Hao has a brave heart and he has the
never-give-up attitude.He won all of the championship except the Olympic
Games.When he joined the Olympic Games in 2004,he was beaten by
Liuchengmin.When he joined the Olympic Games in 2008,he was beaten by Malin.When
he joined the Olympic Games in 2012,he was beaten by Zhnagjike.Though everyone
is disappointed,he doesn`t feel sad and want to be better.
It is worth for us to
study its never-give-up attitude.His story made me moving.I think he will dothe best athlete in the world and in everyone`s heart!

loudly 改成 loud loudly是副词,不能修饰名词.只能用loud 这个形容词来修饰 voice.
中间那部分,其实都没有错误,说法这样说也可以,所以不用改.
最后三句
It is worth for us to study its never-give-up attitude. worth 这个词不能这么用,中文我们说 值得我们学习,英文 要说 We should learn from him his never-give-up attitude. 你要注意中英文之间的差异,不要全部直译.
His story made me moving. moving 改成 moved 就可以了, 我被感动了,用ed
I think he will do the best athlete in the world and in everyone`s heart! do 改成be
很好了.