雅思作文求批改，急~

雅思作文求批改，急~

To(最好用For) those who support working(work在此应用动名词形式) in offices, I would like to point（指出，point out） that works （workers）and students have to spend time on their way to the office (/school), it（which） is a waste of our（去掉our） time. For example I spent half an hour on my way to the school every day. But I do want（to） use the time to do exercises. School life is tired（tiring） and boring,（however，） students have no time to do sports, （which is）especially（true for） senior high school students. But if we study at home, we can use the time we used to go to school to do some excises to keep fit. We can also(去掉also听起来更通顺) study better if we are healthy.

Another reason why people like to work at home probabelly is （is probably）that stay（staying） at home is more convinient and relaxed. We will not forget bring（忘记带......应该把forget bring 改成leave） our homework, document and so on. We can do everything we do at school (/office), even chat with our friends, but we can’t do something,（改成things） like sleeping（去掉ing，注意和can’t后面的 do保持一致 ） a little while when we are really tired at school, because of rules. And I do sure（ensure或 直接把do改成be动词） that there must be someone we don’t want to meet in office, such as boss. Work（working） at home can help us aviod meeting them.

In conclusion, although people have to work in office now, but （去掉but）I believe that one day we can work in our own place, and more people would like to work in their home（homes.）追问那大概能拿几分？追答我只是帮修改语法方面的问题，分数倒没概念。