急需一段英语对话，要求要搞笑，并且是5个人的对话，时间3~5分钟

别忘翻译

Scene II
The new bus driver.
Characters: A bus driver. Three passengers (A, B and C)
Time: One afternoon.
Place: Chun-kun Road.

(Narrator: One afternoon, some passengers are on a bus for Tiger City.)
Passenger A: What a terrible traffic jam!
Passenger B: I hate this! It wastes our time!
Passenger C: I think we should get off right here! Tiger City is just 50 meters away!
Passenger B: I agree!
Passenger A: All right! I’ll ask the driver.
Passenger A: Could you…(Pats the driver’s shoulder)
Driver: Wow!
(Narrator: The driver yells suddenly and the car strikes down a house.)
Driver: What are you doing! You scared me so much that the bus struck the house! You need to make it up to me.
Passenger: So sorry! I didn’t know I would scare you. It’s just a slight tap.
Driver: All right! It’s my mistake. I am too sensitive. I was a hearse driver before.
(Narrator: My dear friend, please pay attention! Do not distract the driver when the car is moving. It can cause danger to everyone in the car or on the road. And, remind all of your friends to obey this rule!)
　




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z兵果搞笑中心，那可是我看到过最好最幽默的地方，什么类行都有！真是妙语连珠……我给大家一起分享了,里面的话大胆说出，看完之后包你烦闷的心情会得到舒畅……有：整人、成人、友情、爱情、寻开心等等。

人物：Tom，Jack 和 forune teller！ 镜头一: Jack：Tom，who do you think the man with a yellow straw hat on the stool in front of the palm trees？ Tom：I guess he must be a fortune teller. Jack：Are you sure? Tom：Yes,without a doubt. You see he is looking forward to talking to someone. Jack：Maybe you are right. But Tom, can you read the palm? Tom：Yes, I have read a lot of books about reading the palm.May I read your palm? Jack: Yes,I’d love to. But I want to make fun of him.It is very funny. 镜头二: (They pass through the sidewalk and walk to the fortune teller) 这个时候，Tom马上变换角色,去扮演算命师傅.对白精彩在这了. Jack: Hi, my name is Jacke? Would you please read my palm? Fortune teller: Yes,welcome to here. Sit down please. Give me your left hand. Jack:But.I had a bad car accident last year.I lost my left arm. Nowadays , I do everything with my right hand. Life with one arm is very difficult. Fortune teller: Are you kidding me? Jack: No. I am serious. I hope you guess what I want to know. Fortune teller: Now,please give your right hand. Let me see…..You must be between jobs. Your wish is to become a millionaire. But You do not know what to do.Let me tell you. Jack:You are wrong. I am not poor. Though I am not a million, I have a company, a flat,a car and 80,000 dollars. Fortune teller: Oh, I know. Your girlfriend must have left you. You have lots of shortcomings. Maybe you don’t make the bed. Maybe you don’t clean the dishes. Maybe you are always in a bad mood. You must be as stubborn as a mule. If I were you, I would make a apology to her at first. Jack: No,many girls like me. I have you guess the last chance.If you are wrong again, I won’t pay you money. Fortune teller:You are up to monkey business.If I knew it, I would not read your palm. Jack: You are right. You guess the answer is right.But it was too late.I hope you guess if I can pay you money. 2--Do you know much about computers? --Not a great deal. --I've just been reading an article about them. They are used for all sorts of things now. --For accounting systems and things you mean? --Yes, but they're used for other things too. Do you remember when we went to buy our tickets for the flight to Greece? --Yes. --The man asked where we wanted to go, then he typed out the information on a form and waited for a reply. A few moments later he gave us our tickets. --Of course. His machine must have been connected to a computer. --That's right. 3关于不同爱好的对话. Michael: hi, Charles, how are you? Charles: fine. Thanks. You look great. Michael: thank you. You know what? I took tennis classes recently and I find myself so crazy about it. I feel so energetic after playing tennis. Do you play tennis? Charles: No. I don’t. I play football. Tennis is not as exciting as football. Michael: Charlie, I am afraid I can’t agree with you at this point. It is much easier to find one tennis partner rather than finding a whole bunch of people to play football. Charlie: well, don’t you think more people are more exciting? Playing tennis is like playing a ping pong game. Just playing back and forth. It’s a kind of boring. Michael: Noooooooo! When you play tennis, you can keep fit and you don’t get hurt. There is too much body contact in playing football. I don’t want to be pushed, be stepped, be knocked down or…… Charles: that’s the best part of the game. Michael: Sorry. I can’t talk to you now. I have to go to my tennis club now. My partner is waiting for me there. Charles: ok. I have to call my buddies about our football match this afternoon. Bye! Michael: bye! 4纯属原创，大家都是过来人，知道你的难处。还望笑纳。 (最后有点搞笑的成分) 人物：Rose, I(named Jack). Rose: Hi, Jack. Jack: Hi, Rose. Rose: Long time no see, how are you doing? Jack: I'm doing terribly bad. And how about you? Rose: I'm fine, thank you. But you, what's up? Jack: I just cannot find a agreeable job. The salary offered by those companies are really too low. I've had interview several companies, and they all felt satified to my performance, but when hearing my salary request, they all could not offer. Rose: Almost the same with my situation. The current job market is so stagnant. I'd have to adapt myself to the reality. Jack: I cannot agree with you more. But you know, the salary they offered could even hardly afford my daily consumption.I just feel that's gotdamn crazy. Rose: Hey, Jack, come on. Do you know the current situation of job market? There will be nearly 5 million college graduates nationwide, inclusive of a lot of masters. For my own sake, I gave up my baseline at last. Today, I've just signed a job contract with XX(公司名). Jack: You're really appreciated to remind me. I gotta find a job as soon as possible even with a pretty low salary. Rose: Cheer up, Jack. I don't think it matters to start with a low salary. You know, gold will shine everywhere. I believe you can get a decent job within 3 years as long as you're hard enough. Jack: Thank you very much for your encouragement. Let us make a brilliant future hand in hand... Rose: Hey，Jack. Don这有英语对话，你自己看! http://bookmark.hexun.com/weixiang1015/detailframe.aspx?bid=1435032 't touch me...

我能做的只是帮你把楼上的翻译过来

场景二 新的巴士司机。 特点：总线驱动程序。三名乘客（甲，乙，丙） 时间：一天下午。 地点：震坤道。 （讲述人：有一天下午，一些乘客正在为老虎城市公交车。） 乘客甲：什么可怕的交通堵塞！ 乘客乙：我恨这个！它浪费我们的时间！ 乘客答：我认为我们应该在这里下车！虎城只有50米远！ 乘客乙：我同意！ 乘客甲：好！我要问司机。 乘客甲：你...（拍司机的肩膀） 司机：哇！ （讲述人：司机尖叫，赛车突然袭击了一所房子。） 司机：你在做什么！你吓了我这么多，巴士袭击的房子！您需要补我。 乘客：很抱歉！我不知道我会吓唬你。这只是一个轻微的自来水。 司机：好！这是我的错误。我过于敏感。我是一个灵车司机前。 （讲述：我亲爱的朋友，请注意！不要分散司机在汽车移动。造成危险，可以大家在车里还是在路上。另外，提醒您所有的朋友遵守这一规则！）