英语的小笑话

英语的小笑话

固顶>　跟妈妈一模一样的女朋友 Find a girl just like your mother No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice. Find a girl just...固顶>　爷爷给我付账 Grandpa will pay the bill Walking up to a department stores fabric counter, the pretty girl said, I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How muc...固顶>　自己做好准备 Prepare Yourself A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of ...
英语笑话带翻译>　跟妈妈一模一样的女朋友 Find a girl just like your mother
日期：2012-03-09 13:53:50 No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice. Find a girl just...英语笑话带翻译>　爷爷给我付账 Grandpa will pay the bill
日期：2012-02-19 12:24:16 Walking up to a department stores fabric counter, the pretty girl said, I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How muc...英语笑话带翻译>　分享一切 Always Share
日期：2012-02-19 12:19:45 An old couple went into a restaurant and ordered something to eat: one Coca Cola and one portion of French fries. The old man sat ...英语笑话带翻译>　图片和奶酪 the picture of the cheese
日期：2012-02-19 12:08:13 One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a...英语笑话带翻译>　约会完成进行时 Appointment of the Perfect Continuous
日期：2012-02-17 21:48:26 A youngster asks a girl who comes to the date: Is this your date with the young man for the first time? Too bloody right. Gee, how...英语笑话带翻译>　有其父必有其子 Like father, like son
日期：2012-02-17 21:43:57 Son: Papa, what s the meaning of Like father, like son? Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school...英语笑话带翻译>　兄弟般的关爱 Brotherly love
日期：2012-02-15 21:31:58 Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I be demonstrating? Cassandra: Brotherly ...英语笑话带翻译>　猪或女巫 Pig or Witch
日期：2012-02-15 21:29:34 A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans...英语笑话带翻译>　丧失记忆 Amnesia
日期：2012-02-10 20:46:42 A senile actress went to see a doctor. The doctor enquired, enquire=inquire,especial=special,evaluation=valuation, resolve=solve) ...英语笑话带翻译>　老板的主意 Boss's idea
日期：2012-02-10 20:42:42 When my printers type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only...英语笑话带翻译>　最低分 the lowest grade
日期：2012-02-08 23:09:09 Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really dont think I deserve a zero. Neither do I. But thats the lowest grade Im ...英语笑话带翻译>　总感到口渴 Always Thirsty
日期：2012-02-08 23:08:48 I had an operation, said a man to his friend, and the doctor left a sponge in me. Thats terrible! said the friend. Got any pain? N...英语笑话带翻译>　他们很忙 They're Busy
日期：2012-02-08 22:59:41 One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. May I speak to your parents? Theyre busy. Oh. Is anybody else there? The polic...英语笑话带翻译>　长官在婚礼上 Chief is at the wedding
日期：2012-02-08 22:56:05 A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. But officer, the man said, I can explain. Just be quiet, snapped the o...英语笑话带翻译>　同样的行为，同样的结果 The Same Action Yields the Same Resul
日期：2012-02-06 20:48:21 A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest,and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch ...英语笑话带翻译>　自己做好准备 Prepare Yourself
日期：2012-02-06 20:33:37 A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of ...英语笑话带翻译>　老夫妻吵架 An Old Couple's Quarrel
日期：2012-02-06 20:31:33 A couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser, turning to his opponent in a combative fra...英语笑话带翻译>　为什么迟到 Why are you late
日期：2012-02-04 11:27:46 Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,School-Go slow. 老师:为什么你每...英语笑话带翻译>　梦中更聪明 More Intelligent in Dreams
日期：2012-02-04 11:25:57 When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. I remember solving the problem in ...英语笑话带翻译>　两个猎人Two hunters
日期：2012-01-14 12:54:38 Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seem...英语笑话带翻译>　你以为你上了网我就不认得你了 I do not recognize you
日期：2012-01-14 12:53:01 Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers folder, then crab bush run. Tiger jump...英语笑话带翻译>　宁可不要的荣耀 An Unwelcome Honor
日期：2011-12-19 23:46:34 A doctor came into the hospital ward and said to Mr. Johnson, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Then Mr. Johnson sa...英语笑话带翻译>　“妙”龄证人 Twenty-one Forever
日期：2011-12-19 23:44:36 In court a judge asked the witness, How old are you? I mean, really, how old are you? And remember, youre under oath so tell the t...英语笑话带翻译>　我家的聪明狗会买报纸 The Clever Dog
日期：2011-12-04 00:53:00 A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstrat...英语笑话带翻译>　预算超标的小偷 Caught stealing
日期：2011-11-28 18:59:52 A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. Listen, said the shoplifter, I know you dont want...

he won tommy: how is your little brother, johnny? johnny: he is ill in bed. he hurt himself. tommy: that's too bad. how did that happen? johnny: we played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 i have his ear in my pocket ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "what happened?" "a kid bit me," replied ivan. "would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "i'd know him any where," said ivan. "i have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” a good boy little robert asked his mother for two cents. "what did you do with the money i gave you yesterday?" "i gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "you're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "here are two cents more. but why are you so interested in the old woman?" "she is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” drunk one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk." "but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” hospitality the hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. the little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. the visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "you must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. where did you find the cheese?" "in the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "do you know what does it mean? it means all day i dream about sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 a.d.i.d.a.s, (all day i dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.