哪位高手帮我改下雅思作文?

哪位高手帮我改下雅思作文?
题目是“媒体是否应该报道犯罪细节”（英文的不记得了,）
In the present age,media is playing an increasingly pivotal role in the society.But in the meanwhile there are also large numbers of debated issues about the media,one of which is whether the media should cover crimes in detail to the public.Some people believe that such coverages should not be offered to the society.However,I disagree with this point of view.
Convincing arguments can be made that coverages about details of crimes are necessary to the public.To start with,the public has the right to clearly know about the society; therefore the media has a duty to help people to get a clear perspective of the society.Moreover,individuals profit from such kind of coverages.Specifically,the details of crime covered by media contributes to raise people’s awareness of self-protection.For instance,a great deal of programs invite some victims of various crimes to talk about their owm experiences,which to a great extent teaches the public how to protect themselves from dangers,thereby avoiding unnecessary damages.Lastly,such coverages can effeciently give a heavy strike to the potential crimes.With the help of media,the power of law enforcement agencies can be realized by the public,including those who are about to commit a crime; thus the criminal tendency could be greatly alleviated.
Admittedly,that the media reports details of crime may create detrimental influences upon the society.For instance,some misleading coverages may cause undue scare among people through blowing things out of all proportions.Even so,it is obvious that the government management and checkup can effectively help to solve such problems.
In summary,I would conclude that covering crimes in detail may cause some harmful influences to the public.But at the same time I’m convinced that such coveries are required by the society.As to the negative influences,not only the government should take actions to tackle them,but also the press should be taught to raise the code of ethics.

不错啦,但是段数太少,没段字数太多,会令到考官没心情.

回答的不错