请帮我看看有没有语法错误

Why am I in college? Because I want to have a colorful life. I think ICB is a wonderful school. It can teach me many things. In college, I can learn how to stay well with each others. It can help me to improve my consciousness and make me stand on my own feet. I must do everything on my own. I know that college can give me more abilities and improve my life. If we want to adapt to the society, we must improve our abilities and compete with peers. Our society is in quick development. If we want to keep up with it, we must have more abilities. I think everyone should go to college and then they can do better and contribute to the nation’s economy developed. It can improves national economy and national quality.

I think if a country’s economy is developed, this country will become more technological and stronger. People in this country will have much money and can do everything they want to do. We should make our motherland more strong, so we must improve our country’s economics and science. I want to be an economist after I graduate. Because I think economics will be the long-term topic of the world and it can bring me the life which I want. I like traveling and one of my dreams is to travel all over the world, so I need to earn more money to achieve this dream. To be a economist can let me earn more money and I could travel around the world in the future.

语法没错误 但是几乎都是中式英语 很多语言习惯还是中文的 不地道

以下修改是针对语法的：

Why am I in college? Because I want to have a colorful life. I think ICB is a wonderful school. It can teach me many things. In college, I can learn how to stay well with each others. It can help me to improve (不要to) my consciousness and make me （help me在前面已经有make的意思了。这里make me可以去掉） stand on my own feet. I must do everything on my own. I know that college can give me more abilities and improve my life （前面的是give，and连接后面的也应该接上give这个词，这里你应该要加上 it，避免后面的improve和give冲突。）. If we want to adapt to the society, we must improve our abilities and compete with peers （这里用and用to都行。如果你要表示要运用这些能力与他人竞争的话，用to）. Our society is in quick development. If we want to keep up with it, we must have more abilities. I think everyone should go to college and then （记住，and then，and这种连接词的前后一定要一致，比如主语要一致，动作要一致，形式要一致。形式一致举例为 A do 事件1 and B do 事件2。这里可以选择：go to college 句号。we will do better to contribute to ... ，或者 go to college and then contribute to ...，当然还有其他选择。）they can do better and contribute to the nation’s economy developed （development）. It can improves （the）national economy and （the）national quality.

I think if a country’s economy is developed , this country will become more technological and stronger. People in this country will have much money and can do everything they want to do （可省略do）. We should make our motherland more strong（much stronger）, so we must improve our country’s economics （economy） and science. I want to be an economist after I graduate. Because I think economics （economy） will be the long-term topic of the world and it can bring me the life which I want. I like traveling and （此前可以算一句，用句号，不要and）one of my dreams is to travel all over the world, so I need to earn more money to achieve this dream. To be（用being） a economist can let me earn more money and I could travel around the world in the future.

以下是用词表达的简评：

1，由于不知道你现在的level，所以我先假设你是高中水平。

2，文中用can太多了。尽量省略一下。

3，help，make，let这些词用作书面表达会降低文章整体的质量。你可以选择用 encourage, equip, enable, provide, offer等词。

4，简单句能够省一下，或者整合成从句，表示第三者的地方尽量用被动。

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