请找出这段英语短文中的错误

请找出这段英语短文中的错误
Good afternoon I am xxx,I come from NO.6 Middle School ,I am very glad to study with you.I like playing football,I like listening to pop music,my favourite singer is sorry sorry.when I am free,I often go shopping,watch TV.play computer games and I am learning to music .I think I am not good at speaking English,I will try my best to learn it well.Thank you!

你这样写多好,good afternoon,my name's ***.i come from no.6middle school,i am very glad to studing with you guys~.i like play football(football 是橄榄球,这里最好改成soccer),listen pop music.my favourite singer whos name is sorry sorry(我最喜欢的歌手叫SORRY SORRY?）,in my free time ,i like to go shopping,watch TV,play computer games and learn music.i think my english is poor,but i will try my best to learn it.thank you~!
另外这篇短文的逻辑性很不强,翻译成中文你再看看：
下午好朋友们,我叫***,我是从第六中学来的,我非常高兴能和你们一起学习.我喜欢踢足球,听流行音乐.我最喜爱的歌手的名字叫SORRYSORRY,当我有时间的时候,我经常购物,看电视,玩游戏和听音乐.我想我说的英文不够好.我也会尽我最大的努力去学好它,