急求英语笑话（全英）带翻译，100字左右，要易懂，初一水平

急求英语笑话（全英）带翻译，100字左右，要易懂，初一水平

One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautifulnecklace.
When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"
"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.
On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.
Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".
情人节前一天，一个女人做了个项链的梦。
当她醒来，她和她丈夫说：“我刚梦到你情人节给了我一根珍珠项链。你说那是什么含义呢？”。
“到情人节那天你就会知道了。”他笑着说。
情人节那天，男人给了他老婆一个礼盒。
她很兴奋地打开，看到的却是一本书，书名是《梦的解析》。

after keating had learnt the fine art training course conducted by the children's palace for two years,he draw a portrait by the fauvism for his father as his birthday gift.looking at his　own　"portrait painting" , his father felt a pang of pain, saying:"you'd better add the to it and convert it into a gorilla." 在季慈在少年宫学习了2年的绘画培训之后，他给父亲画了一副野兽派的自画像作为生日礼物。 看着这副 野兽派的自画像，他的父亲感到一阵痛楚，你最好给它加个东西，将它改类为黑猩猩 why is he crying? 他为什么哭泣？ 　　“tom, what’s the matter with your brother?” asked the mother in the kitchen. “he’s crying.” 　　“oh, nothing, mum” replied tom. “i’m eating my cake. he is crying because i won’t give him any.” 　　“but has he finished his own cake?” 　　“yes.” said tom. “and he also cried when i was helping him finish that.” 　　“汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？”在厨房的妈妈问道。“他怎么在哭啊？” 　　“哦，没事儿，妈妈。”汤姆回答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。因为我不给他，他就哭了。” 　　“那他吃完了自己那块了？” 　　“是的。”汤姆说。“我帮他吃蛋糕的时候就哭了。” are they worn out? "no," growled the quartermaster, "you can't have a new pair of shoes. the pair you have aren't worn out." "not worn out," cried the recruit, " why, if i step on a dime i can feel if it's head or tails." 还没穿破？ “不行，”军需官大声说：“你不能领一双新鞋子，你穿着的那双还没有穿破。” “没穿破，”新兵叫道：“为什么？如果我踩到一个一角硬币，我可以知道踩着的那面是公还是字。” 2.sunset father: this is the sunset my daughter painted. she studied painting abroad, you know. friend: ah, that accounts for it! i never saw a sunset like that in this country. 日落 父亲：这幅《日落》是我女儿画的，你知道，她曾在国外学过画画。 朋友：啊，怪不得！我在本国还从来没有见过这样的日落。 3.a great man teacher: would shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today? student: of course. he must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years. 一名伟人 老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？ 学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。 4.where is the father? 　　　 two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "look," said the elder brother. "how nice these paintings are!" "yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. where is the father?" the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”