能用英语翻译的笑话

Absent-minded Professor:Heavens!Someone stole my wallet!Wife:Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?Absent-minded Professor:Yes,but I thought it was mine.教授：天哪!有人偷了我的钱包!妻子：你难道没感觉到一只手伸进你的口袋?教授：感觉到了,可我还以为那是我的手呢
一名伟人Teacher:Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?Student:Of course.He must be a great man,for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.老师：如果莎士比亚还活着,他会是一名伟人吗?学生：当然.因为到目前为止,还没有人活到400多岁.
母鸡的腿 Son:Why are hen's legs so short?Dad:You're a fool.If the hen's legs were too long,wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieces when laying?儿子：为什么母鸡的腿这么短呢?父亲：你真笨.如果母鸡的腿太长,它们下蛋的时候,鸡蛋岂不都摔碎了?
我们9点关门 Waitress, shouted the impatient diner,do I have to sit here and starve all night? no,sir,we close at nine o'clock. “服务员,”用餐者不耐烦地叫道,“我必须整晚坐在这儿挨饿吗?” “不,先生,我们9点关门.”