那位英语高手 ,帮我改一下自己写的六级作文

那位英语高手 ,帮我改一下自己写的六级作文
Part I：Writing (30 minutes)
Directions:For this part,you are allowed 30 minutes
to write a short essay entitled The Way to Success by commenting on Abraham Lincoln's famous remark,Give me six hours
to chop down a tree,and I will spend,the first four sharpening the axe.
You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.
The way to success
There are a famous remark ” Give
me six hours to chop down a tree ,and I will spend ,the first four sharpening
the axe” .It is very of importance for
us to get preparation ,though
sometimes it will take much time .If the preparation is not enough ,we may spend double time to
do the same work which the other one do.
Obviously,it’s a key of success.Getting preparation is a smart way .Admittedly,
One thing can be finished is based on hard working .But when there is a way can
make working more efficient ,we should adopted it.Just working hard is not always
result in success.Success person always try different
ways to finish the work.It’s the key of success.

The way to success
There 【are改为is】 a famous remark ” Give
me six hours to chop down a tree ,and I will spend the first four sharpening
the axe” .It is very【去掉】 of 【加上great】importance for
us to get preparation ,though
sometimes it will take much time.If the preparation is not enough,we may spend double time 【to do改为doing】 the same work 【which改为as】the other 【one改为people】 do.
Obviously,it’s a key 【of 改为to】success.Getting preparation is a smart way .Admittedly,
【One thing can be finished改为whether one thing can be finished】 is based on hard working .But when there is a way 【加上which/that】can
make working more efficient ,we should 【adopted改为adopt】 it.Just working hard 【is改为does】 not always result in success.【Success改为A successful】 person always 【try改为tries】 different
ways to finish the work.It’s the key 【of改为to】 success.
再问： 太感谢你了 以后还能不能求教你呢
再答： No problem