搞笑的有关英语的诗朗诵

搞笑的有关英语的诗朗诵
我要在今年元旦上诗朗诵,三个人,需要英语和中文混搭的,搞笑的.

Play cards play well,have mind,play cards play fine,that clear,play cards play fine,description to understand the economy,playing cards is not afraid of fried,illustrate courage,win anyway,that deep,lose do not surrender,competitive.The old doctor of traditional Chinese medicine said; stamen practice a good brain,heart,flirt with hot chicks of old,flirt in trouble,the heart is not old,Acacia sleepy little; to scientific outlook on development attitude control oneself,there is no development,practice!Sad beauty often say hero,but heroes do not think so,do beauty for mediocrities?Beauty is not so,is not the beauty with hero?Often say that the rabbit does not eat the grass,but rabbits do not think so,don't let another rabbit to eat?Grass is also do not think so,who eat not to eat,why not let face cooked food!Often said that money talks,bullshit walks,but ghost don't think so,is should give money to grind?Money is not so think,who won't evil spirits to money,give a person would not be.I would like to wish you a happy holiday,the day can not think so,don't have a holiday is not happy?So happy holidays,festivals are happy after!When the level of method of dealing with urgent,say slowly; event,say clearly; trivial,humorous to say; not sure thing,say it carefully; did not happen,don't talk nonsense; do not do,do not talk nonsense; things that hurt others,can not say; hate things,on the things not to say; happy matter,see the situation say; the sad thing,don't tell everybody; others,be careful to say; their own thing,to listen to my heart; now the matter,do say; the next thing,the future say;
打牌打得好,说明有头脑,打牌打得精,说明思路清,
打牌打得细,说明懂经济,打牌不怕炸,说明胆子大,
赢了不吱声,说明城府深,输了不投降,竞争意识强.
老中医说;花心练大脑,偷情心脏好,泡妞抗哀老,调情解烦恼,暗恋心不老,相思瞌睡少;
以科学发展观的态度对照自身,有则发展,无则实践!
常说英雄难过美人关,可英雄不这么想,难道把美人留给庸人?美人亦不这么看,难道美人不该配英雄?
常说兔子不吃窝边草,可兔子不这么想,难道让别的兔子来吃?草亦不这么想,谁吃不是吃,为什么不让脸熟的吃!
常说有钱能使鬼推磨,可鬼不这么想,难道推磨不该给钱吗?钱亦不这么想,钱给鬼不会祸害人,给人就不一定了.
我想祝大家节日快乐,可日子不这么想,难道过了节日就不快乐了?所以节日快乐,节日之后亦快乐!
遇事最有水平的处理方法
急事,慢慢的说；
大事,清楚的说；
小事,幽默的说；
没把握的事,谨慎的说；
没发生的事,不要胡说；
做不到的事,别乱说；
伤害人的事,不能说；
讨厌的事,对事不对人的说；
开心的事,看场合说；
伤心的事,不要见人就说；
别人的事,小心的说；
自己的事,听听自己的心怎么说；
现在的事,做了再说；
未来的事,未来再说；
祝元旦快乐!