有没有一些英语小笑话

有没有一些英语小笑话

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.

1.Two psychiatrists were at a convention. “What was your most difficult case?” one asked the other. “Once I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world,” replied his colleague. “He believed that a wildly rich uncle in South America was going to leave him a fortune. All day long he waited for a makebelieve letter to arrive from a fictitious attorney. He never went out or did anything. He just sat around and waited.” “What was the result?” “It was an eightyear struggle, but I finally cured him. And then that stupid letter arrived...” 两个精神病专家在一次会议上碰见了。其中一个问另一个：“你最棘手的病例是什么样的?” “我曾有过一个病人，他生活在一个纯幻想的世界里，”他的同行回答。“他坚信南美有个大富翁叔叔要留给他一笔遗产。他整天等待着从一个虚构的律师那儿收到证实信。他从不出门，无所事事，只是坐着干等。” “结果如何?” “经过长达8年的努力，我终于把他给治好了。可就在那时，那封荒唐的信到了……” 2。A Bride's Surprise There was a couple who were getting to know each other,and when the girl was introduced to the boy's family shewas very, very impressed with the way the parents lovedeach other so much. She kept saying, "Oh my God! They were so thoughtful! And your dad even brought your mom a cup of coffee in bed every morning." She loved that very much.And after a while, the girl and boy got engaged and then were ready to get married. On the way to their wedding, the girl still kept repeating her comments about how loving the boy's parents were and how the dad always brought coffee in bed every morning to the mom. She kept on and on about that, and then she said, "Does that quality run in the family?" And the boy said, "Yes, yes! It runs in the family, all right. And I take after my mom!" 出嫁前才发现一对情侣正在交往，女方认识男方的家人后，对男方父母间的浓情留下深刻的印象，她经常跟男友说：「你的父母彼此好体贴！每天早上你爸还端一杯咖啡到床上给你妈。」女孩对这种感情充满向往。过了一阵子，她和男友订婚了。他们结婚那天，前往婚礼的途中，女孩还是不停称赞男方的父母有多恩爱、他爸爸每天早上都端咖啡到床上给他妈妈。她一直说个不停，然后她问男友：「你们家一向都是这样的传统吗？」男友回答：「是啊！我们家一向都是这样，不过，继承我妈妈位子的是我！」

how old are you 怎么老是你