求一篇英语笑话,要求简单的容易背下来,两个人（男的）对话形式,两人背诵6分钟左右完成.要有中英对照,句式可以复杂,但是要

求一篇英语笑话,要求简单的容易背下来,两个人（男的）对话形式,两人背诵6分钟左右完成.要有中英对照,句式可以复杂,但是要容易背下来才行,俩人分工明确的对话.两个人脱稿讲这个笑话,时间要达到六分钟!要有中英互译,最好让我知道怎么读!

1、How much English can you speak?
Your Honor,I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft.He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around.What's more,he only speaks a few words of English.
The judge looked at the defendant and asked,How much English can you speak?
The defendant looked up and said,Give me your wallet!
中文翻译
法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊.他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路.而且,他只会说几个英语单词.
法官看了看被告,问道：你会说多少英文?
被告抬起头,说：把你的钱包给我!
2
A husband,proving to his wife that women talk more than men,showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day,whereas women use 30000 words a day.She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
He said,What?
丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果,为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦.研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字,而女人每天使用30000个.
妻子想了一会儿说,女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍,因为她们必须重复已经说过的话.
他问：什么?