高一英语值日报告

跪求各位英语大虾给小弟一份英语值日报告！！！要幽默的，而且要附带中文，字数控制在我能在1天内背完就是了......希望各位不要上网复制一篇就来了，谢谢了！帮我的人，你的大恩大德，俺永世都不会忘记！

Good morning , every one. My name is XiongYan, I'm on duty today. We have Chinese, English, mach in the morning. ang history,double Chinese in the afternoon. I don't like Chinese and history, but I know that also important,so I do my best to learn it, I believe:" Nothing is ness ary, if you put your mind to do it." I like English and mach . Beacause I think they are funny. and cherry is my favourite fruit,so I have a English name"Cherry-lona", do you want to know how spell it? I'll tell you."C-H-E-R-R-Y-L-O-N-A" It's a long name. do you like it?. I like play computer, too. But the teacher said is bad for study,so I didn't always play it.
There are four people in my family, my father, mother, sister and me.We are a happy family, I like them and every one who cares about me.
Now, I'll introduce the weather. Today is thursday, December sixth. the weather is clod and windy . I hope will be snowy, beacause in snowing, we can threw the snowball and make a big snowman .That's very intersting.
Finally, I'll share a funny story with you, hope you like it and happy.
One night a hotel catch fire，so the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money, People don't think of money when they're afraid, if someone leaves somemoney in the fire, the fire will burns it, So I took all the money that I could find．No one will be poor because of I took them．”
“Do you know my work?” said the other．
“What is your work？”asked the first man
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” shouted the first man, after a moment , he think a good idea“And do you know my work？”
“No.”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
The story is over, do you like it and do you like my duty report.? That's all , thanks.