请看 修改打分 Traffic and housing problems in major cities would b

请看 修改打分
Traffic and housing problems in major cities would be solved by moving big companies,factories and their employees to the countryside.Do you agree and disagree?
It is an undeniable fact that in recent years,traffic and housing problem in metropolitan areas,which becomes increasing serious,has aroused the shared concern of countries around the world.A group of people reckon that the problem would be settled by moving big companies,factories and their employees to countryside.Personally I don not think it is an excellent solution to put in practice.
Admittedly,large-scale companies and factories does contribute a lot to housing problem in large cities since on one hand they need to arrange accommodation for their numerous employees.Therefore more and more houses are being built on a limited city land,triggering a soaring housing price.On other hand,a large volume of employees purchase and use cars everyday which generates the pressure of traffic under urban settings that possess limited capacity of car.From this perspective,by relocating companies,factories and their employees can reduce the pressure of traffic and housing problems.
However,traffic and housing problems are the inevitable product of the rapid economic growth especially in major cities.Seriously,because of the imbalanced development policy executed by government in rural and urban cities,major cities enjoyed better environment than that of suburb areas,such as facilities,education,food,recreation and so on.As a result,a swarm of people coming to major cities is not a rare phenomenon,and even becomes a trend,which undeniably brings about terrifying traffic and housing problems.Obviously,these problems would not be utterly handled if the development policy for urban and rural areas could not be balanced and impartial.
In short,moving companies,factories and their employees to countryside can alleviate the pressure of housing and traffic in a short period.But if people expect these severe problems be totally settled,it absolutely has to resort to the healthy and fair economic

Traffic and housing problems in major cities would be solved by moving big companies,factories and their employees to the countryside.Do you agree or disagree?
It is an undeniable fact that in recent years,traffic and housing problem in metropolitan areas becomes increasing serious.And it has aroused the shared concern of countries around the world.A group of people reckon that the problem would be settled by moving big companies,factories and their employees to countryside.Personally speaking,I do not think it is an excellent solution to put in practice.
Admittedly,large-scale companies and factories do a lot of contribution to housing problem in large cities,since they need to arrange accommodation for their numerous employees.Therefore more and more houses are built on a limited city land,triggering the housing price rising.On the other hand,alots of employees purchase and use cars everyday which generates the pressure of traffic under urban settings that possess limited capacity of car.From this perspective,by relocating companies,factories and their employees can reduce the pressure of traffic and housing problems.
However,traffic and housing problems are the inevitable product of the rapid economic growth especially in major cities.Seriously,because of the imbalanced development policy executed by government in rural and urban cities,major cities enjoyed better environment than that of suburb areas,such as facilities,education,food,recreation and so on.As a result,a swarm of people coming to major cities is not a rare phenomenon,and even becomes a trend,which undeniably brings about terrifying traffic and housing problems.Obviously,these problems would not be utterly handled if the development policy for urban and rural areas could not be balanced and impartial.
In short,moving companies,factories and their employees to countryside can alleviate the pressure of housing and traffic in a short period.But if people expect these severe problems be totally settled,it absolutely has to resort to the healthy and fair economic devlopment.
我觉得文章思路不错,但是刻意标新,使用了很多并不常用的词汇.在一篇文章中,适量试用即可,没必要所有的词汇都避免大众用词.毕竟雅思考试水平是测试日常生活的.