搞笑的英语故事

Talking Dog
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads Talking Dog for Sale. Intrigued,he walks in.
So what have you done with your life? he asks the dog.
I’ve led a very full life, says the dog.I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims.Then I served my country in Iraq.And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.
The guy is flabbergasted.He asks the dog’s owner,Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?
The owner says,Because he’s a liar!He never did any of that!
A Baby?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.The bus driver says:“That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down,fuming.She says to a man next to her:“The driver just insulted me!”
The man says:“You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead,I’ll hold your monkey for you.”