帮我看看信有没有错（英文）

帮我看看信有没有错（英文）
Dear daley
How's it going?I'm a Chinese girl who like you.My name si JiangYurong.I'm one year younger than you.I think you are an excellent water jumping player.And I thought you were a lovely boy when I had seen you.My classmates and I thought you had been good in Olypices in 2008.There are many people who like you very much,because we all think you are cute,clever and outstanding.The reporters in magazine have said,thomas daley is a tanlent!
I thought so.I have liked you since 2008.In my mind you are always the best,I will always support you.
I knew your birthday was coming when I write this letter
Happy birthday to you
大概意思为：我是一个喜欢你的中国女生 我的名字是XXX.我比你小一岁.我认为你是个很出色的跳水运动员.当我看到你时 我认为你是个很可爱的男孩
我的同学和我都认为你再2008的奥运会中有出色的表现.这里有很多人非常喜欢你 我们都觉得你很可爱 聪明并且出色.记者在杂志中写到你是个天才.
在我心中 你永远是最棒的 我也会永远支持你.
当我写这封信的时候 你的生日快到了 祝你生日快乐
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如果有错 麻烦把错句 写下来 然后下面写上正确的
最好把错误的全写出来 不要写一个就想得分 如果你觉得我写的不好
那麻烦根据我的大概意思 写一封

1）Dear daley ----Dear Daley
2)I think you are an excellent (water jumping player)---(diver)
3)My classmates and I thought you had been good in Olypices in 2008.----My classmates and I thought you did well in the 2008 Olympics.
4)The reporters in magazine have said,thomas daley is a tanlent! ----The reporters of magazines said,Thomas Daley is a new diving talent.
5)How's it going?(这句语法上来讲是没错的,但是我觉得这句话多用于较熟悉的人之间的通信……只是我觉得,没绝对依据,不过你看看能不能换句……）
我觉得你的定语从句和现在（或过去）完成时态运用有点泛滥（尤其是后者）,整体文章的时态有些杂乱.总觉得你的文章像是中式英语,但是如果我改了的话害怕完全打乱你的思路.你自己再看看吧.另外注意不要由错别字,人名开头要大写.
再附：我也只是个学生而已,以上说法纯属个人意见.