If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yoursel

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
If you say to your children “I’m sorry I got angry with you, but …” what follows that “but” can make the apology ineffective: ” I had a bad day” or “your noise was giving me a headache ” leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior.
Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say “I’m sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
These pseudo(虚假的)-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness, Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not turn to these pseudo-apologies.
But even when presented with examples of true regret, children still need help to become aware of the difficulties of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling(糟蹋) other children’s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that taking away the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’s clothes without permission is not.
【小题1】If a mother adds “but” to an apology, .A．the child may find the apology easier to acceptB．the child may feel that he should apologize to her motherC．she does not realize that the child has been hurtD．she doesn’t feel that she should have apologized【小题2】According to the author, saying “I’m sorry you’re upset” most probably means” ”A．You have good reason to get upsetB．I apologize for hurting your feelingsC．I’m wrong for making you upsetD．I’m aware you’re upset, but I’m not to blame【小题3】We learn from the last paragraph that in teaching children to say sorry .A．their ages should be taken into considerationB．parents should be patient and tolerantC．parents need to set them a good exampleD．the difficulties involved should be ignored【小题4】It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is .A．not necessary among family membersB．a sign of social progressC．not as simple as it seemsD．a matter calling for immediate attentionB

(答案→)B 解析：【小题1】B 细节题。根据第二段what follows that “but” can make the apology ineffective: ” I had a bad day” or “your noise was giving me a headache ” leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior.说明这样的虚假道歉会让接受道歉的认为他们应该向你道歉，故B正确。【小题2】D 推理题。根据第三段2,3行“I’m sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.说明道歉的一放认为自己不应该受到责备。故D正确。【小题3】A 推理题。根据最后一段所举的三个例子可知不同的年龄的孩子对于道歉都有不同的理解，故我们要考虑到年龄的因素。【小题4】细节题：从最后一段But even when presented with examples of true regret, children still need help to become aware of the difficulties of saying sorry可知答案是C。

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