后天考试了·今天检查作文发现有一小段好像写的有问题~有没有高手帮我改改··我总觉得语法有很大错!

后天考试了·今天检查作文发现有一小段好像写的有问题~有没有高手帮我改改··我总觉得语法有很大错!
The present signal is unmistakable:our teachers and parents are obsessed with an idea of making their children working hard and ignore to communicate with them,while they often can not express themselves clearly.What is worse,the bias and suspicion between the parents and children become a serious social issue.Youths,who all like to use the networking language,have a speedy expansion of its number .

以我考研的经历来看,你的作文重点不是语法错误,而是书写错误,高分作文应该写更多的短句,中间穿插承接词,首句要有感叹句,不过我觉得你的作文已经练的不错了,考试的时候尽量不要写的太复杂,小心老师直接说你语法错误,其实是他没看到.