谁能帮我用英语翻译下面对白,要配合搞笑情景!谢谢

谁能帮我用英语翻译下面对白,要配合搞笑情景!谢谢
因为我班上圣诞要搞英语话剧,所以想了个故事想求翻译,翻译对白就行、但请勿用电脑翻译,要配合场景,谢谢
讲的是新开学一个美国学生（罗伯特,较腼腆）和一个在美国长大的华人（贺皮傅,很顽皮）被编同桌后发生的故事：
俩坐下
贺：你好,你叫什么名字
罗：你好,我叫罗伯特
贺：什么?“萝卜头”?哈哈哈哈
罗（生气）：什么“萝卜头”?我叫罗伯特!你呢,怎么称呼?
贺：哈哈,我叫贺皮傅
罗：什么?happy fool?哈哈哈哈,太有趣了
贺：你会说汉语吗?
罗：不会
贺：哈哈,你真笨~看来我们没法沟通了
罗：.
第二天（这个请翻译）
第三天（这个请翻译）
之后贺每天都会问罗一次他会汉语吗,然后取笑他
直到有一次罗去学了汉语
迎圣诞,学汉语半价!（这个请翻译）15天速成
罗（想了很久）：我想学最便宜的
老师：ok,跟我来
老师：ā
罗：à
老师：.接着我们学汉语中的“你”字,nǐ
罗：nì
老师：ok,再听我读一次,nǐ
罗：nì
老师：ok,很好
15天后...
罗(兴奋）：我有件事要告诉你,我学会汉语了!
贺：我也有件事告诉你,其实我不会汉语
罗：什么?
贺：我说我不会汉语
罗：汉语?你不会?
贺：是的
罗把书卷起
贺：你想干什么?
罗：我想杀了你
罗跳起打贺...
结束

Both sit down
Greet: hello, what is your name
Romeo: hello, my name's Robert
Greet: what? ruobo tou? Ha ha ha ha
Luo: (angry) what ruobo tou? My name is Robert! How about you, what to call?
Greet: haha, I'm He PiFu
Romeo: what? happy fool? Ha ha ha ha, very funny
Greet: can you speak Chinese?
Romeo: no
Greet: ha ha, you 'resolame ~ it seems we can't communicate
Romeo:...
The next day ...
The third day ...
After that He would ask ROM. if he can speak Chinese everyday,and then make fun of him
Until one time ROM went to learn Chinese
To meet the Christmas, learn Chinese half-price! 15 days crash
ROM (thought for a long time) : I want to learn the cheapest
Teacher: ok, come with me
Teacher: ā
Luo: a:
Teacher:... Then we learn the word你 in Chinese, n ǐ
Romeo: ni
Teacher: ok, listen, I read once again, n ǐ
Romeo: ni
Teacher: ok, good
15 days later...
ROM (excitement) : I have something to tell you, I have learnt Chinese!
Greet: I have something to tell you,too. I actually cannot speak Chinese
Romeo: what?
Greet: I said I cannot speak Chinese
Romeo: Chinese? You can't?
Greet: yes
ROM scroll up the book
Greet: what do you want?
Romeo: I want to kill you
ROM jump dozen He...
end