英语短文笑话

英语短文笑话

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don´t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She´s only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it´s father´s turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he´s bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork´s parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he´s been all night.

The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。 3. The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 新老师 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 "乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。 "妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。" 4. A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？ 尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

    Scolding  you  know

  Mother: Tom,come here.

  Tom: Yes,Mom?

  Mother: You really disappiont me.Your exam results are getting worse.

  Tom: But I will only get my exam results tomorrow.

  Mother: I know that.I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow,so I am scolding you now.

    Good  news  and  bad  news

    The soldiers were dirty,hot and tired.One day,the general said:“My men,I have the good news and the  bad news for you.Which one would you like first?”

  “The good news!”they answered.

  “OK,”said the general.“The good news is that you each will be receiving a complete change of clothing.”

  “Great!”the soldiers said.

  “And now for the bad news.Jack,you will change with Jhon.Dick,you will change with Tom. Jim,you will change with Robert…”

    There  is  no  future  in  it

  Teacher: History is a very interesting subject.It tells you about what had happened in the past.

  Student: I don't think I want to study history.

  Teacher: Why?

  Student: There is no future in it.