帮我写一下英语值日报告

帮我写一下英语值日报告
今天是我做值日报告.
对于大家来说,我是一个新同学,但自从马东京同学来了后,我就成为旧同学了.我非常感谢他.因为我很想融入这个集体.
接下来给大家讲个小故事.（找一篇小故事贴上,最好属于搞笑,简短,有寓意的.）
我今天的报告就结束了.
请把翻译贴上来。

hello,everyone, i am on duty today .i would like to share a funny joke with you,hope you like it,and have a nice day!
A Girl Just Like Mother
No matter which girl he brought home, the young man found disapproval（不满） from his mother． A friend gave him advice（建议）．
“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to（一定会） like her．
So the young man searched and searched（寻找）, and finally found the girl．He told his friend：
“Just like you said, I found a girl who looked,talked,dressed, and even cooked like mother．And just as you said,mother liked her”
“So,”asked the friend,“what happened?”
“Nothing,”said the young man．“My father hates her!”
大家好,今天我值班.我想与你分享一个有趣笑话,希望你喜欢它,并有一个愉快的一天!
一个母亲一样的女孩
无论哪一个女孩他带回家,年轻的男子从他母亲的反对（不满）.一位朋友劝他说：（建议）.
“找一个女孩和你母亲一样,那么她一定会（一定会）喜欢她.
因此,年轻人搜查,搜查（寻找）,终于找到了girl.He告诉他的朋友：
“就像你说的,我发现了一个女孩谁看,谈吐,穿着打扮,甚至我母亲煮正如你所说,我母亲喜欢她”
“所以,”朋友问道,“什么事?”
“没什么,”年轻人说.“父亲讨厌她!”